What Does Self-Growth Look Like in Therapy? A Psychologist’s Guide to Inner Work and Emotional Wellbeing
- Dr Tiffany Leung
- Apr 9
- 5 min read
Updated: 7 days ago
Many individuals seek therapy with the question:
"How will I know if I'm getting better?"
Or even,
"What does self-growth actually look like?"
This is an important — and very human — question. In therapy, we often focus on what hurts, what’s been lost, or what we’re struggling with. But equally, psychological work is about cultivating what’s strong, meaningful, and empowering within you. In many ways, therapy and inner work go hand in hand — both offering a path toward greater self-growth, emotional wellbeing and clarity.
This article outlines four essential qualities that are widely recognised in psychological research and therapeutic practice as core to a healthy, resilient, and evolving self. These are areas that clients often grow in through working with a psychologist — and they’re also areas you can begin to reflect on today.
1. Self-Awareness: Understanding Your Inner and Cultural Self
Self-awareness is the foundation of all psychological growth. It’s the ability to notice, understand, and reflect on your own thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and behaviours — and how they interact with your history, your culture, and your environment.
Modern psychology has provided us with many ways to understand this ‘self’ — from the Big Five Personality Traits to Cultural Identity Models. One particularly inspiring approach is the VIA Character Strengths, which identifies 24 universal character strengths that can help you understand what’s right with you.
But beyond personality theory, self-awareness also includes your cultural self. Many people — especially those living across cultures or managing multiple social identities — ask:
“How do I stay true to myself, while adapting to others' expectations?”
You might notice this when you’re in a work meeting or social setting and think, “Should I speak up… or stay quiet to keep the peace?”Or when travelling between countries or family gatherings, asking yourself, “Which version of me feels most real?”
Therapy can help you explore the balance between adapting to social environments and staying grounded in your authentic values, beliefs, and heritage. As you grow self-awareness, you also build self-confidence — because you are clearer on who you are and what matters to you.
2. Emotional Regulation: Navigating Your Feelings with Compassion
A psychologically healthy self isn’t about never feeling anxious, sad, or frustrated. Rather, it’s about how you respond to your emotions, especially during moments of stress or challenge.
Research consistently shows that our ability to regulate emotions affects not just our wellbeing, but also our motivation, decision-making, and even physical health. Emotional regulation is the skill of noticing what you feel, understanding why, and choosing helpful ways to respond.
In therapy, we often draw on approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) or Compassion-Focused Therapy, which help individuals recognise unhelpful thinking patterns, shift them, and develop healthier emotional responses.
Many clients I work with say things like, “I didn’t even realise how harsh I was being to myself until we started talking about my inner voices" , “I thought I was ‘too emotional’ — but now I see I was just never taught how to manage what I feel.”
Reflect: How do you typically respond when you're overwhelmed or disappointed? What would it feel like to respond with more kindness?
Being in therapy doesn’t remove your emotions — it gives you the tools to work with them, rather than against them. In therapy, self-work often begins with understanding how your thoughts and emotions shape your self-perception — and gently learning how to support yourself more effectively.
3. Self-Growth Through Purposeful Goal Pursuit: Knowing What You Want and How to Move Toward It
Personal growth also involves setting intentions and moving toward meaningful goals — even when life gets messy or uncertain.
Goal setting isn’t just about productivity. It’s deeply psychological. According to research from psychologists like Peter Gollwitzer, how we mentally frame and emotionally commit to our goals can significantly influence whether we achieve them.
In therapy, we explore your:
Values and motivations
Habits and routines
Mental roadblocks and self-doubt
Ability to review, adapt, and persist
One client I supported reflected, “I used to just go with the flow — not because I wanted to, but because I was afraid of failing. Now, I’m more intentional with my time and choices.”
Reflect: What’s something you’ve always wanted, but haven’t made space for? What stops you from taking the first step?
Growth comes not only from having goals, but from developing the mindset and flexibility to move through setbacks with self-trust.
4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: Relating Authentically with Others
Many clients enter therapy with questions about relationships — not just romantic ones, but also with family, friends, colleagues, and community.
For those from cultures that prioritise collectivism, hierarchy, or filial responsibility (such as many Asian cultures), relationships can become especially complex. You might ask:
“How do I care for others, while still honouring my own needs?”
This question often arises for clients who were taught to prioritise harmony or obedience — yet feel unseen or emotionally drained in their adult relationships.
One client shared, “I always thought putting others first was the ‘right’ thing. But I realised I wasn’t even on my own list.”
Interpersonal effectiveness involves learning to set healthy boundaries, communicate with assertiveness and care, and cultivate emotional intimacy in a way that aligns with your values.
Reflect: Are your current relationships nourishing or depleting? Where might your voice need more space?
Therapy supports you in understanding how your past and culture have shaped your relationship patterns — and how you can gently shift those patterns to feel more empowered, connected, and respected.
Strengthening your relationships is not separate from self-growth — it's often one of the most meaningful ways to live out your values in everyday life.
How a Psychologist Can Support Your Growth
Working with a psychologist is not just about problem-solving. It’s about having a collaborative, supportive space to grow your inner life — with someone trained to walk alongside you in a way that is respectful, empowering, and grounded in psychological science.
A psychologist can help you:
Discover your character strengths and develop emotional insight
Build healthier thinking patterns and regulate difficult emotions
Clarify your goals and design supportive plans toward them
Deepen relationship skills and heal interpersonal wounds
Reconnect with your cultural identity and honour your inner voice
Ultimately, a psychologist helps you not just feel “better” — but feel more yourself. Through self-growth, therapy becomes a place where change is not just possible — but deeply personal and lasting.
Ready to Begin Therapy and Your Inner Work to Attain Self-Growth and Emotional Wellbeing?
I hope this article has helped with your understanding of Self-growth, emotional wellbeing and inner work in therapy in a deep and sustainable way — qualities that often become clearer through working with a psychologist.
If this article resonates with you, I invite you to reach out.
I’m Dr. Tiffany Leung, a UK-based Chartered Psychologist, and I work with individuals navigating emotional growth, cultural identity, and meaningful life transitions. Together, we can explore what a healthier, fuller version of you might look like — and how to walk toward it, one step at a time.
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