What If You Wake Up One Day… and Realise This Isn’t the Life You Wanted?

— This is for those on midlife realisations, emotional turning points, and how therapy helps you stop waiting and start living a life that feels truly yours.

“Sometimes, the real crisis is just a sign that we’re ready to live more honestly.”

Introduction:

You wake up one day. Nothing seems wrong. But something inside you feels off. You look around at your life—the routines, the roles, the relationships—and wonder:

"Is this really what I wanted?"

This moment can feel unsettling, but it isn't a sign of failure. It's often the beginning of something deeply meaningful.

In work, I meet many clients who share a similar experience. Whether they're in their 30s, 40s, 50s or beyond, they come with questions that stir from within:

• Am I just going through the motions?

• Why do I feel disconnected from my own life?

• Is it too late to change?

These moments, though often uncomfortable, are rich with psychological insight. They signal readiness for growth, not collapse.

For some, especially those from migrant or high-expectation backgrounds, this reflection can carry additional weight. This is especially true if you’ve grown up as “the responsible one” — perhaps the eldest daughter, the first-generation success story, or the emotional caretaker in your family.

Questioning your path might feel like betrayal. But it can also be an act of self-return.

The question isn't just "Is this the life I wanted?" but also "Is it okay to want something different from what was expected of me?''

In this article, I explore:

1. Why these moments of doubt are developmentally meaningful

2. The psychological themes behind these realisations

3. How therapy supports you in turning reflection into change

What to do when you feel stuck in life and at an emotional turning point.

A wake up call that invites you to step back ?

In the French comedy Bref, a man turns 40 and suddenly feels overwhelmed by the question: What have I really done with my life?

It’s meant to be humorous, but for many, it mirrors a real internal shift. This kind of moment can be triggered by birthdays, transitions, burnout, or simply a quiet evening at home.

These are not breakdowns. They are psychological thresholds. They ask you to pause and look again.

Think of it like standing at a quiet fork in the road. One path leads back into familiarity—safe but stale. The other invites you forward into something more honest, more alive, even if uncertain. This blog is about standing at that crossroads—and choosing gently.

What have I achieved ? Does it fullfill me ?

In developmental psychology, Erik Erikson described how our midlife stage turns us toward the question of generativity vs stagnation.

We begin to ask:

• What legacy am I creating?

• Who am I becoming now?

• Do my outer achievements reflect my inner values?

This shift is not just philosophical—it’s emotional, embodied, and often accompanied by grief, relief, and uncertainty.

You may feel a quiet tension in your chest, a resistance to waking up, or a lack of joy in the things that once lit you up. These are not failures. They are emotional signals, inviting your attention.

You can't wait for a future that you haven’t chosen

One common myth I hear in therapy is: "The future will be better, I just need to hold on."

But without intentional change, that future doesn’t arrive. We end up repeating the same cycles, waiting for a sense of fulfillment that never quite comes.

Therapy offers a space to:

• Identify what no longer serves you

• Explore the values you want to live by

• Develop emotional clarity and self-trust

• Practice small, sustainable changes

This isn’t about quitting your job or making radical changes overnight. It’s about coming home to yourself in a grounded, meaningful way.

Feeling stuck in life, at the emotional turning point - What to do when life feels wrong

🔗 Read this to find out what does Self-Growth look like in Therapy.

How Therapy can guide you at this crossroads ?

Therapy is not about giving you all the answers. It’s about helping you ask the right questions:

• Who am I now?

• What is important to me that I haven’t honoured?

• What would it look like to live more authentically?

In my practice, I support clients through these exact moments. Together, we move from disorientation to intentional growth.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to start.

In therapy, we might begin by mapping your current life roles and values, exploring how they align—or don’t—with who you are now. We might notice emotional cues like resentment, numbness, or longing, and work gently with them. Small steps of change, grounded in your own clarity, can bring immense relief.

A client once reflected:

“I never realised I could build a life that actually fits me. I thought I just had to endure the one I was given.”

That insight became the starting point of something more aligned.

More resources to learn more about Life Change and Inner Growth

I've already written different articles that might help you to understand what's the therapy journey like when you are looking to change your life and grow.

• Self-Growth in Therapy: A Psychologist’s Guide to Inner Work and Emotional Wellbeing

• The Deeper Layers of Self-Work in Therapy

• What Happens After You Start Self-Work in Therapy

• Therapy and the Growth-Based Approach: What It Means to Change From the Inside Out

Feeling lost or stuck isn’t a crisis—it’s a psychological signal. It’s your inner self inviting you to pause, realign, and begin again. Therapy offers a safe space to explore what truly matters to you.

Stop Waiting. Start Living.

You are not alone in this feeling.

That quiet moment where everything feels "off"? It might be your most important emotional signal yet.

Change doesn’t have to be dramatic. But it does have to be intentional.

Therapy can be a place where that change begins—gently, honestly, and at your pace.

If you're not ready to reach out just yet, here are three small ways to begin:

• Write down 3 values you haven't lived by recently.

• Reflect on what brings you aliveness, not just achievement.

• Say one kind thing to yourself every day this week.

Small actions, over time, make space for deeper change.

🔗 Book a free consultation with Dr Tiffany Leung

🌐 Learn more about culturally sensitive therapy

Confidentiality Note: 

All client stories are anonymised or fictionalised for educational purposes. This blog is for general reflection and does not replace personalised psychological support.