4 Emotional Habits Beyond the To-Do-List That Build Long-Term Resilience
- Dr Tiffany Leung
- May 30
- 5 min read
A Psychologist's Personal Sharing on the 4 Habits for Emotional Resilience and Long-Term Stress Recovery
Managing stress isn’t only about crossing off our to-do list—it’s also about staying emotionally well over time. While task-focused habits help us stay on track, long-term resilience comes from how we relate to ourselves, others, and the meaning we find in life. Emotional habits shape how we respond to setbacks, connect with others, and move through life’s complexities.
In this article on positive habits, I share four deeper emotional practices which I have personally explored and practiced. They help us soften inner tension, navigate complex relationships, and stay anchored in hope. These aren’t quick fixes — I see them as deeper psychological habits that deepen our ability quietly and steadily, in order for us to hold stress with clarity and care.
Each habit includes why it matters, what I do, how it helps me feel differently, and a fun fact to root the insight in research or real-life example.
🔗 If you’re looking for habits that support daily focus and productivity, Part 1 of this series explores four practical tools I return to during busy or pressured times.
💔 1. Accept Failure as a Part of Growth
Why this habit matters when we’re stressed:
When things go wrong, we often feel shame or self-blame. I used to fear mistakes — believing they meant I wasn’t good enough. Research shows that chronic self-blame increases anxiety and withdrawal, while reflection fosters learning and self-compassion.
What I do now:
I pause when I stumble. Instead of rushing past discomfort, I journal my thoughts and track emotional patterns. I ask, “What is this teaching me?” and take time to really listen.
How it helps me feel differently:
Reflection helps me respond, not react. I meet myself with more patience and insight—less fear, more clarity.
💡 Fun fact: A Harvard study found that professionals who reflected regularly improved performance by 23% (Di Stefano et al., 2014).
🔗 If you’re on a journey of inner growth, these habits also support the self-work process I explore in this blog on therapy and emotional growth.
🎨 2. Make Space for Enjoyment and Play
Why this habit matters when we’re stressed:
Stress doesn’t always show up loudly—it can quietly build when joy is missing. For a long time, I lived in constant productivity mode, thinking that rest was optional. I had forgotten what I enjoyed, and fatigue slowly took over.
Psychological research shows that engaging in enjoyable and restorative activities—like play, music, or rest—not only improves mood but also boosts cognitive flexibility and resilience (Fredrickson, 2001). Some of our best ideas and breakthroughs happen not during work, but during rest.
What I do now:
I give myself permission to be unproductive—to explore, move slowly, or do nothing at all. Whether I’m walking for a short time, or I travel in new places, I honour rest as a place where creativity and clarity often return.
How it helps me feel differently:
Moments of enjoyment reset my system. Enjoyment isn’t indulgent—it’s restorative. They soften the build-up of pressure and often surprise me with new inspiration. Some of my most creative ideas arrive not in moments of effort, but in moments of rest.
💡 Fun fact: A study from the University of York found that creative problem-solving increases after rest, while prolonged focus without breaks can reduce performance by up to 20–30%.
🤝 3. Surround Yourself with True Companions
Why this habit matters when we’re stressed:
Understanding the social self is essential. Mainstream psychological theories—from George Herbert Mead’s concept of the “social self,” to Carl Rogers’ self-concept model and Erik Erikson’s psychosocial stages—emphasize that our identities are not formed in isolation. We become who we are through our relationships with others. Whether it’s acceptance, belonging, or shared meaning, the social dimension of the self is deeply embedded in our wellbeing.
When these social bonds are threatened—through criticism, exclusion, or relational tension—our distress often runs deeper than the moment. It can evoke shame, identity confusion, or a sense of disconnection. Interpersonal difficulties aren’t just surface-level stressors; they shake our sense of safety and who we believe ourselves to be.
What I do now:
I regularly pause to notice how I feel in my relationships—energised or drained, safe or reactive. I use journaling and quiet reflection to notice patterns and guide my boundaries.
How it helps me feel differently:
I learn to not take every tension personally. I understand myself better in the social mirror, and that makes space for kinder connection—with others and with myself.
💡 Fun fact: Supportive relationships are one of the strongest predictors of long-term wellbeing (Baumeister & Leary, 1995).
🌟 4. Have a Personal Vision: Hold Onto Hope
Why this habit matters when we’re stressed:
When life gets overwhelming, it’s easy to lose sight of what matters. I’ve noticed that stress tends to escalate when I forget my ‘why.’ Research in coaching psychology supports this: having a clearly articulated personal vision improves focus, increases intrinsic motivation, and supports wellbeing.
In fact, those having a structured goal framework, like a clear personal vision paired with strategy, can improve wellbeing. People who do this tend to experience higher life satisfaction, lower stress, and greater resilience during difficult periods (Boyatzis & Akrivou, 2006).
✨ Prevention, I’ve learned, is often more powerful than problem-solving after burnout arrives.
What I do now:
I come back to my personal vision—a sense of direction that guides me in both my work and life. I journal, re-read my vision board, and speak with people I trust, who reflect my values back to me and help me reconnect with my direction.
How it helps me feel differently:
My vision keeps me anchored. Even when the present feels uncertain, I know I’m moving toward something meaningful. That reminder brings both calm and energy.
💡 Fun fact: Nelson Mandela credited his personal vision of peace and reconciliation as a vital source of strength throughout his 27 years in prison. In his autobiography, he reflects on how this deeper purpose sustained his clarity, compassion, and emotional resilience—despite enormous hardship.
🌅 Closing Thoughts: build long term emotional resilience habits
Resilience doesn’t arrive overnight. It grows from small, deliberate choices—how we respond to setbacks, where we find meaning, and who we surround ourselves with.
These four habits have supported me through many seasons: when clarity faded, when connection felt strained, or when I lost sight of what mattered. They don’t promise perfection—but they are gentle insights which remind me that healing and hope are possible, even in life’s complexity.
You don’t need to try them all at once. Begin where you are. One habit, practiced with intention, can become a foundation of emotional strength that supports you far beyond the moment.
And if you haven’t already, feel free to revisit Part 1 for practical, everyday strategies to reduce stress and stay focused.
💡 Want Support for Your Own Growth?
🔗 Interested in building more psychological practices to attain a holistic self-growth? Read my other article: A Psychologist's 10 Transformative Self-Help Practices That Have Enhanced Psychological Wellbeing and Fulfillment in Life
If you’re navigating stress, burnout, or a life transition, I offer therapy and coaching spaces where you can feel seen and supported.
📚 References
Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497–529.
Boyatzis, R. E., & Akrivou, K. (2006). The ideal self as the driver of intentional change. Journal of Management Development, 25(7), 624–642.
Di Stefano, G., Gino, F., Pisano, G. (2014). Making Experience Count: The Role of Reflection in Individual Learning. Harvard Business School Working Paper.
Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56(3), 218–226.
University of York (2021). Rest boosts creativity and problem-solving outcomes. [University news release]
Nelson Mandela. Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela. (1994).
Erikson, E. H. (1959). Identity and the Life Cycle.
Rogers, C. (1951). Client-Centered Therapy: Its Current Practice, Implications and Theory.
Mead, G. H. (1934). Mind, Self, and Society.
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