Move beyond culture shock and find connection across cultures: A Practical Guide of Intercultural Communication and Enhancing Competence

Living Abroad Is Exciting—But It’s Not Always Easy

Friendly conversation between diverse people.

Whether you’ve just moved abroad or have been living and working across cultures for years, you may find yourself facing unexpected challenges in your daily life and relationships. Maybe you feel tension when interacting with people from a different culture. Or you notice moments of internal conflict—where you’re trying to be open-minded but feel frustrated, misunderstood, or isolated.

If you’re experiencing this, you’re not alone. These feelings are a normal part of navigating intercultural communication, and there are ways to better understand what’s happening—so you can grow from it.

👉 If you’d like to explore the key impact of migration on cultural adaptation and mental health, you may find my earlier post helpful: "Migration and Mental Health: How Cultural Adaptation Affects Your Well-being."

This post is here to support you. We’ll explore why you might feel what you’re feeling, and how you can build intercultural communication and competency to connect more meaningfully with the people around you.

What Is Intercultural Communication—and Why Is It Hard Sometimes?

At its core, intercultural communication is about how we interact and connect with people from different cultural backgrounds. On the surface, it might seem simple: just be respectful and open-minded. But in practice, it can be more complex.

Why? Because we all carry assumptions, preferences, and unconscious biases that shape the way we see the world. These are built from our upbringing, cultural norms, and personal experiences. They influence how we communicate, how we interpret what others say, and even what we value.

This can lead to internal tension when we’re in a new cultural setting. Part of us wants to adapt and embrace difference, but another part of us might feel uncomfortable, confused, or even defensive.

Explore a new city - living abroad is exciting but its not always easy. — Living Abroad is exciting - but it's not always easy.

What You’re Feeling Is Normal

Feeling conflicted doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you’re human. Many people living abroad feel a push and pull between their home culture and the new culture. This experience can trigger culture shock, loneliness, or a sense of not belonging.

Understanding the psychology behind this can help you move through it with more awareness and self-compassion.

Understanding the Psychology of Intercultural Communication

There’s a reason intercultural communication can feel challenging. As social psychologist Geert Hofstede explains in his Cultural Dimensions Theory, cultures differ in core values—like individualism versus collectivism, or how comfortable people are with hierarchy and uncertainty. These differences affect how people communicate, make decisions, and form relationships.

How Our Cultural Assumptions Shape Our Interactions and Tensions Experiencing

When we interact across cultures, we often experience moments where these differences clash with our expectations. That can create stereotypes, misunderstandings, and internal conflicts.

You might find yourself thinking:

“Why do they act this way?” “Am I being rude without realizing it?” “Why is this so exhausting?”

These thoughts are common—and they are the result of our minds trying to make sense of unfamiliar situations. Recognizing this is the first step in building intercultural competency.

Hofstede’s model reminds us that deeply embedded cultural values shape how we behave and communicate, often without us realizing it. When these cultural norms clash, it can trigger frustration, confusion, or even withdrawal.

How Intercultural Competency (and Communication) Helps You Adapt (and Feel Less Stuck)

Intercultural competency is the ability to communicate effectively and appropriately with people from different cultures. It’s not just about knowledge; it’s about building real connections across differences.

Furthermore, according to Milton Bennett’s Developmental Model of Intercultural Sensitivity (DMIS), we grow by moving from an ethnocentric view (where we see our own culture as central or “normal”) to an ethnorelative view (where we understand cultural differences as valuable and valid).This shift helps us move away from black-and-white thinking toward curiosity, understanding, and adaptability.

What You Can Do: Practical Steps Toward Intercultural Growth

You may be wondering, “Okay, but what can I actually do to make this easier?” Here are some practical steps you can take to develop your intercultural communication skills and feel more grounded in your experience abroad.

Journaling mindfulness quiet reflection space — Acknowledge your feelings using a quiet reflective space.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings Without Judgment

It’s normal to feel frustration, confusion, or even resentment. Notice these feelings without self-judgment. They are part of adapting to a new cultural environment.

2. Reflect on Your Assumptions

Consider the expectations you bring into interactions. Ask yourself:

What cultural lens am I using here?
Could there be another valid way to approach this?

3. Listen With Curiosity

Shift from judgment to curiosity. Instead of thinking, “That’s wrong,” try asking, “That’s interesting—how does that work here?”

4. Learn About Cultural Norms—But Stay Flexible

Frameworks like Hofstede’s Cultural Dimensions or The Culture Map by Erin Meyer offer helpful insights. But remember: people are more than cultural categories.

5. Practice Empathy and Flexibility

Intercultural competency isn’t about getting it perfect. It’s about being open, adaptable, and respectful in moments of difference.

As Darla Deardorff’s Pyramid Model of Intercultural Competence suggests, the foundation is respect and openness. From there, we develop skills like active listening, perspective-taking and empathy. These help us engage with differences in meaningful and respectful ways.

How Therapy Can Support Your Intercultural Communication Growth

Living and working abroad can challenge not only your communication skills but also your sense of identity and belonging. You might feel torn between cultures, unsure where you fit, or exhausted from constantly adapting. These are common experiences—and they can be worked through in therapy.

As a psychologist with experience in intercultural communication, I support individuals navigating the complexities of cultural adaptation and identity transitions. Whether you’re struggling with culture shock, feeling misunderstood, or wanting to strengthen your ability to connect across cultures, therapy can provide a space for reflection, understanding, and growth.

👉 If you’d like to explore why culture plays such a key role in emotional well-being and therapy, read my earlier post: 'Culturally Responsive Therapy: Supporting Mental Health Across Cultures'.

What Intercultural Growth Looks Like in Therapy:

✅ Exploring your cultural identity

✅ Making sense of internal conflicts

✅ Acknowledging the normalcy of stereotypes and biases

✅ Building emotional resilience

✅ Enhancing your communication skills

In therapy, one of the key areas we focus on is developing your Cultural Intelligence (CQ)—a set of skills that help you relate and work effectively across cultures. CQ includes four key areas:

Cultivate Drive: Your interest and motivation to learn about and engage with different cultures.
✨ Ask yourself: “What keeps me curious about new cultures?”
Expand Knowledge of cultural differences: Understanding cultural norms, values, and how they affect behavior.
✨ Ask yourself: “What do I know about this culture’s communication style?”
Build Strategy for navigating interactions: Awareness and planning for cross-cultural interactions.
✨ Ask yourself: “What cultural factors should I consider before this conversation?”
Take Action by adapting behavior in meaningful ways: Adapting your behavior to different cultural contexts.
✨ Ask yourself: “How can I adjust my approach to be more effective here?”

In therapy, we work together to help you

🌱 Increase self-awareness

🌱 Develop strategies for communicating effectively

🌱 Adapt authentically to new cultural settings

🌱 Stay motivated and engaged, even through challenges

🌱 Explore your evolving cultural identity

🌱 Process culture shock, homesickness, or loneliness

🌱 Navigate internal tensions with more ease and self-compassion

🌱 Build emotional resilience and coping strategies

🌱 Strengthen your Cultural Intelligence (CQ) for more confident communication

🌱 Reconnect with a sense of belonging—wherever you are in the world

By developing your Cultural Intelligence, you can approach intercultural situations with greater confidence, awareness, and flexibility.

The Broader Picture: Intercultural Experiences and Intersectionality

I’ve written this article with people living and working abroad in mind—those navigating new environments and often confronted with cultural differences in their daily lives. Moving between cultures can bring up complex questions of identity, belonging, and connection.

At the same time, it’s important to acknowledge that intercultural experiences show up in many other ways. These include:

Race and ethnicity
Sexual orientation and gender identity
Religious or spiritual beliefs
Being part of a minority group within a community or workplace

These layers of identity add richness—and complexity—to how we experience intercultural communication. They can influence both the challenges we face and the perspectives we bring.

In future articles, I’ll be exploring how intersectionality—the way different aspects of identity intersect—affects intercultural communication, identity, and belonging.

If these are experiences you’re navigating and you’re interested in exploring them further in therapy, I welcome you to get in touch.

Global community connection Group embracing diversity

Final Thoughts: Growth Is a Journey, Not a Destination

Building intercultural competency is an ongoing process. It’s normal to feel challenged, and it’s okay to seek support along the way.

When we approach cultural differences with curiosity and openness, we create opportunities for connection, understanding, and personal growth. Over time, intercultural communication helps us not only adapt to new cultures—but also understand ourselves in deeper, more meaningful ways.

Want to Connect?

Are you

🌎 Living or working abroad and struggling to adapt?

🏡 Struggling with cultural adaptation or navigating multiple cultural identities

🗣️ Wanting to feel more confident in cross-cultural relationships

💼 Managing work stress in global teams or multicultural environments

I offer therapy and coaching services focused on supporting individuals through intercultural transitions and identity development.

We hope this post helps you know more about how therapy can support your intercultural journey.

About Author: Dr Tiffany Leung, UK chartered Psychologist

Dr Tiffany Leung is a psychologist/therapist and intercultural communication specialist. She helps people navigate life between cultures with more clarity and ease. Whether you’re living abroad, working in a global environment, or simply wanting to feel more confident across cultures, this guide is here to support you.

Why Living Between Cultures Feels So Hard—A Practical Guide to Intercultural Communication and Enhancing Competence