How to Support a Loved One with Mental Health Problems: A Guide for Families, Friends, and Chosen Networks
- Dr Tiffany Leung
- May 9
- 8 min read
This article is for anyone supporting a loved one who is going through mental health difficulties.
Family, friends, chosen families, and wider support networks all play important roles.
No matter your relationship, it can be hard to know how to help — but there are meaningful, compassionate ways to offer support, tailored to who you are and who your loved one is.
In this post, we will explore three important areas of support:
Learning and understanding your loved one's mental health needs.
Planning ahead and finding support for both yourself and your loved one.
Building emotional connection through communication that listens and validates.
Each step is about helping your loved one feel understood, cared for, and supported — while also taking care of your own emotional wellbeing.
If you're looking for personalised support or wondering how a psychologist might guide this process, you're welcome to explore my therapy services or get in touch. This article offers starting points for learning, planning, and relating with compassion.
Learn About Mental Health: How Understanding Helps You Support a Loved One
One of the most powerful things you can do is deepen your understanding of mental health.
Many people find that when someone close to them struggles, they begin a profound journey of learning — about mental health challenges, early warning signs, and paths to recovery.
It is important to remember: not all mental health difficulties look the same.
Challenges such as depression, anxiety, trauma, neurodiversity (such as ADHD or autism), learning disabilities, personality difficulties, or schizophrenia each present differently — emotionally, behaviourally, and socially.
Understanding mental health is not about having a single map; it is about becoming sensitive to the unique landscape of your loved one's experience.
It does take time to learn and to understand:
What supports one person may not work for another.
Different conditions carry different needs, risks, strengths, and recovery journeys.
Tailored learning — seeking information that specifically relates to your loved one’s situation — can make your support more effective, compassionate, and respectful.
At times, learning may feel overwhelming or uncertain.
You may feel unsure where to begin, or worry that you are getting it wrong.
Please know — this is a normal part of the journey.
Learning is not about becoming a mental health expert overnight.
It is about cultivating openness, curiosity, and patience with yourself and with your loved one.
🌿 Every step you take toward understanding is already an act of care.
🌱 Practical Tip: Choose one area that connects to your loved one’s situation (e.g., trauma, anxiety, schizophrenia). Read a short, trusted article or watch a video today. Note down one thing you learned that helps you feel closer to understanding their experience.
You Are Not Alone in Learning: How Professionals and Shared Stories Can Support You
Learning about mental health does not need to be a lonely path.
You are not expected to figure everything out on your own.
Support for your own learning is available — and seeking it is a strength, not a failure.
You are warmly encouraged to:
Reach out to professionals involved in your loved one's care, such as doctors, therapists, social workers, or care teams.
Ask simple, genuine questions, such as:
"What might be important for me to know about their experience?"
"What signs should I be aware of for their particular challenges?"
"How can I best support both them and myself?"
Many professionals welcome these conversations. They know that a strong, informed support network can be crucial for recovery.
It can also be empowering to connect with the stories of others:
Reading about people who have navigated similar experiences can bring comfort, validation, and hope.
Support groups (both in-person and online) can offer spaces where you realize that your struggles and questions are shared by many others.
There is a quiet kind of strength in recognizing that you are part of a larger community of care — even if each journey is unique.
🌿 Learning in community can strengthen you — and through your growth, you strengthen your loved one too.
🌱 Practical Tip: If you can, prepare two small questions to ask a professional next time you connect. Example: "What signs suggest my loved one needs more support?" "How can I support without overwhelming them?"
As you deepen your understanding, it's equally important to remember that you do not have to walk this path alone.
Next, let's explore how you can strengthen your support — both for your loved one and for yourself.
No One-Size-Fits-All: Building Support That Truly Fits Your Loved One on overcoming their mental health problems
Support systems are not one-size-fits-all.
Support may come from biological family, close friends, partners, colleagues, neighbours, or 'chosen families' — the people we choose as emotional anchors.
Different relationships may shape how we support:
A partner’s support looks different from a sibling’s.
A chosen family member’s support may feel different than a parent’s.
What feels supportive in one culture may feel intrusive or distancing in another.
It is important to explore what feels right for you and your loved one, rather than assuming a fixed role based on traditional labels.
Culture also shapes how we perceive mental health and support:
In some communities, especially non-Western ones, emotional difficulties may not be openly discussed.
Individuals might express support through actions (practical help, silent presence) rather than words (talking through feelings).
Boundaries vary: some cultures encourage close involvement; some prize privacy and independence.
When offering support, it is meaningful to:
Acknowledge your loved one's background and comfort zone.
Stay open to different ways of offering care.
Respect diverse expressions of love, presence, and help.
The heart of this approach is to help your loved one feel understood, respected, and not pressured to fit a model that doesn't belong to them.
🌱 Practical Tip: Reflect: How does my culture, or my loved one’s culture, influence how we express support? Is my instinct to talk? To act? To be present? Consider asking your loved one what feels most supportive to them right now.
🌱 Recognizing the uniqueness of each relationship and cultural context prepares you to take the next step:learning how to ask your loved one what they truly need, in a way that is respectful and attuned.
How to Ask and Offer Support to a Loved One with Mental Health Difficulties
Often the most effective starting point is simply asking: "How can I help you right now?"
Help can take many forms:
Assisting with practical tasks like shopping, household chores, medication, or appointments.
Offering a listening ear, without pressuring the person to "be positive" or "get better quickly."
Checking in periodically — even if the answer is "not today," the offer matters.
It’s normal to feel uncertain or even frustrated at times, especially if help is refused.
Sometimes, your loved one may not recognize they are unwell, or may resist support because they feel overwhelmed.
These moments require gentle persistence and wise judgment:
Is it time to encourage professional help?
Is it time to offer space?
Is it time to simply hold presence, without asking for anything?
Remember: you can also ask professionals how best to support — you are not alone in navigating these choices.
🌿 Listening closely to their cues can guide your steps.
🌱 Practical Tip: Practice offering two choices next time you check in: "Would you like some help with [task] or would you prefer I just keep you company today?"
This makes support feel collaborative rather than imposed.
🌱 Sometimes, offering help is not about solving problems, but about listening to the feelings underneath.
Let's look at how to deepen emotional connection by focusing on validating emotions, not just experiences.
Focus on Listening to Feelings, Not Correcting Experiences
Mental health difficulties can affect how a person perceives themselves, others, and the world.
Your loved one may share painful beliefs, such as:
"Nobody cares about me."
"I am a failure."
It is often more helpful to listen to the emotions behind these statements rather than correcting the facts.
Instead of saying:
"That's not true, people do care about you!"
You might say:
"It sounds like you're feeling really alone right now. That must be painful."
🌿 Feelings are real, even when experiences are distorted.Validating feelings builds trust and emotional safety.
🌱 Practical Tip: Next time your loved one expresses a painful thought, gently reflect back the feeling you sense: "It sounds like you're feeling really [lonely, hopeless, overwhelmed]. I'm here with you."
🌿 Validate the emotional reality without reinforcing inaccurate beliefs. It invites openness rather than defensiveness — creating space for trust and healing.
Remember What's Going Well
During active mental health struggles, hope can feel distant or impossible.
Your loved one may lose touch with previous strengths, joys, or moments of connection.
You can gently help by:
Reminding them of small achievements or joyful moments.
Holding the memory of their strengths when they temporarily cannot.
Encouraging small steps toward routines or activities that once brought pleasure, such as walking, painting, or connecting with others.
Not every reminder will be welcomed — and that's okay. Sometimes the darkness feels too thick in the moment.
But trust that these seeds of hope matter. Plant them gently and patiently.
When the person feels ready, these reminders can help rebuild their sense of self and possibility.
🌿 Hope is fragile — but with patience and presence, it can be nurtured back to life.
🌱 Practical Tip: Quietly name one positive memory or strength the next time your loved one seems ready to hear it, "I remember how much you loved [activity]. That joy is still a part of you."
🌱 Holding on to hope and celebrating strengths can be powerful anchors.
Alongside hope, it also helps to prepare for the more difficult times ahead — with thoughtful, compassionate planning.
Plan Ahead: How to Support a Loved One Through Mental Health Crises
One of the most empowering strategies is planning ahead for challenging moments.
When your loved one feels stable:
Discuss early warning signs together.
Identify steps to take (contacting a doctor, therapist, or trusted person).
Agree on safe, kind actions if insight is lost during crisis periods.
Having a plan can reduce panic, confusion, and guilt during crises — providing clarity for both you and your loved one.
🌿 Planning is an act of love — it brings security, not pessimism.
🌱 Practical Tip: Ask your loved one gently: "Would you like us to put together a small plan, just in case you need more support in the future?"
🌱 Supporting someone else through mental health problems is a profound act of care — but to offer lasting support, you must also care for yourself. Let's now reflect on why looking after your own wellbeing is not selfish, but essential.
Look After Yourself
Supporting someone you care about is an act of profound compassion.
But it can also be emotionally exhausting, and it is not sustainable without tending to your own well-being.
It is not selfish to care for yourself. In fact, your resilience is one of the greatest gifts you can offer.
Prioritizing self-care means:
Seeking your own support — therapy, support groups, trusted friends.
Allowing yourself rest, nourishment, and time to replenish.
Accepting your own limits with kindness.
Remember: just as your loved one deserves compassion, so do you.
🌿 Your wellbeing is not separate from your loved one’s journey — it strengthens it.
🌱 Practical Tip: Choose one self-care action just for yourself today: A small walk. A nourishing meal. A conversation with someone you trust.
Closing Reflection
Supporting a loved one through mental health problems and challenges is not about having all the answers.
It is about walking alongside them with empathy, patience, cultural understanding, and hope.
Your presence matters more than you know.
By learning, listening, validating, and caring for yourself, you are already doing something profoundly healing.
🌿 You are part of the circle of strength that surrounds your loved one — and that circle can include you, too.
If you are walking this path, know that you do not have to do it alone.
Support is available for you too — through resources, professional help, and community care.
💬 If you or someone close to you is navigating mental health challenges and you’d like personalised support, you're not alone.
Dr Tiffany Leung offers culturally sensitive, psychologist-led therapy and consultation — whether you're seeking guidance as a loved one or working through your own emotional journey.
🌿About Author Dr Tiffany Leung
I'm UK-based chartered psychologist with 13+ years of experience in therapy, coaching, and self-development. Holding a Professional Doctorate in Counselling Psychology from the University of Manchester, I work within the NHS and offer private practice services, supporting diverse clients in English, Cantonese, and Mandarin to achieve emotional well-being and personal growth.
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