We have been offering family therapy for a while now, and we've noticed that people often have similar questions about family therapy and support. We share our experiences with Family Therapy and Culturally Sensitive Family Therapy with you.
Covered Information/Questions in this Family Therapy Article:
When is the time when we (I) need Family Therapy?
You may have faced these scenarios (or repeatedly):
You know you can no longer stand being with each other in the same space – either someone is too agitated or another person feels he or she is nowhere to be seen and heard,
You know the problem has occurred for years and there is no way that there is any change in it…
You come to the point that you are a family and you all need to improve the relationships, but different family members are…just very different,
You all deeply care for each other, but communication just does not work,
Some are motivated to change; some said they want the change but never do any work
Some may have already tried to work internally as a family. At the beginning of starting change within the family, especially as members come together after a long time of ruptured relationships, it is normal that families may experience the following,
Awkward!!! (Especially for families from cultures which do not usually talk about FEELINGS.) These moments occur a lot as people don’t know how to talk to each other;
Communication can seem very difficult, unequal, and not one-way. One never gets the other. You feel you are on parallel processes and never meet on the same page;
The communication problem seems so difficult to explain, considering at times one may stray off-topic in describing the issue;
At times power dynamics seem to be too fixed. One may speak or lead on making suggestions/decisions; another one can look very quiet and disengaged;
People meet with the fear of conflict, so things can never be brought up; or
Conflicts do happen and at times there seems no control over it.
This is when you wish you could have someone being with you to address the relationship problem in an open space. The role of a therapist/psychologist in family therapy is crucial, particularly at the beginning stage of family therapy and support work.
How does Family Therapy work?
In family therapy we offer here, two main areas are often specifically looked at: Relationships and Communication. Our providing family therapy aims at a few processes of work:
1) insight and perspectives building;
2) communication strengthening work;
3) Emotional healing and Caring Language Expressing, etc.
We work with you to enhance your insight into your relationship and how problems emerge in the relationship. You also learn about the role of communication which often reinforces relationship problems. Our strengthening work targets at rebuilding relationships and communication. We work together to channel your gained insight into practice.
The Power of Culturally Sensitive Family Therapy
Culturally Sensitive Family Therapy is highly regarded at Dr. Tiffany Leung Psychological Services. Here, we don’t just regard culture as meaning purely from the ‘ethnicity’ background. We refer to this as all social categories – gender, class, religion, sexuality, age, etc.
A key factor people may not be aware of, which makes family therapy work, is the consideration of the role of socio-cultural diversity and complexities within the family circle. Many clients come to us because of their inevitable social and cultural differences. You may find your upbringing experiences different from your son or daughter, or your parents/grandparents.
A well-known example is cultural diversity for some families with migration or immigration, or having bicultural or even multicultural backgrounds. People from culturally diverse backgrounds can relate to these challenges:
Language barriers – the older group speaks non-English as the first language, the younger group speaks English more than the language spoken at home.
Different educational experiences and levels of academic achievement;
Class differences in between (i.e. parents born from the working class; children born in a middle-class background; or that the younger group struggles to meet parental expectations to succeed);
Family from non-white British backgrounds, or in mixed backgrounds, whereas the second generation has to navigate between different cultures when growing up.
You may hear these words come up quite commonly in a family problem: Language barrier, cultural clash with parents, first migrant versus second generation, family trauma due to non-British upbringing, ‘we don’t talk about emotions’, ‘different political agenda – we have nothing to talk about’…
You may want to ensure that the working therapist/psychologist has a good understanding of the complexity of these issues with socio-cultural diversity in the family system.It is important that the psychologist has a high level of awareness, perspective-taking, and good qualities of compassion and empathy. All sides' stories are well respected; the psychologist carefully works with different members towards cultivating equality within the therapy communication space.
It is also completely fine, and in fact a bonus, to request that the therapist/psychologist is bilingual or can speak fluent English and non-English languages, such that he/she could help clarify miscommunication in the sessions.
Why is having a psychologist important in Family Therapy?
At first glance, a psychologist might appear to be a mediator within the family unit. They help the family focus on identifying the problem, whilst ensuring everyone can express their perspective in the same communication space.
Throughout therapy, you can expect improved communication among individuals. People often find themselves becoming more optimistic about building positive relationships with one another.
With us, you work towards understanding the psychological concepts of relationships and communication within your own family circle. You not only identify the problem but also comprehend it in a clear, psychological manner, and recognize how it manifests in your daily life.
The psychologist takes a sensible approach to help the group move past common thoughts like ‘he/she’s wrong’ or ‘the problem is because he/she doesn’t do enough’, towards understanding the bigger picture –
for instance, how an individual's emotional processes (such as anxiety and stress) affect their demeanor (e.g., having a mini breakdown leading to a blank expression), which is then perceived by other family members as (he/she is not doing the work, he/she is lazy).
Many people leave each session feeling they gain more knowledge and understanding.
Strengthening work, if just carried out by one person alone, will require tremendous effort and often get lost in the problems of miscommunication. When people start discussing about the problem together, they recognize they are not dealing with the struggles alone anymore. They no longer feel isolate from one another. Hope occurs across the family group. With your working psychologist, you realize that communication can be possible. You can feel more trustful and hopeful.
How do we (I) know the working psychologist/therapist is good?
You will want to feel confident that the psychologist you work with has good experiences, not just because he/she has knowledge, but also importantly you can ensure you feel safe and comfortable to carry out ‘real talk’ with your family members.
In therapy, you will want to convey strong emotions – sorrows, anger and helplessness… You will bring out conflicts and negativity and with the psychologist in the room, you don’t have to worry this leaves irreversible damage to your relationship.
It is not easy for anyone to identify the best support, or know the professional you speak to is the ‘right one’. It is completely ok for you to ask questions and certainly look for an opportunity to speak to the practitioner yourself.
When you make an enquiry with us, we do welcome you to make a list about questions and matters you wish to clarify. Often in a short conversation, you would know whether the professional may fit with you or your designated referring family group. Don’t hesitate to ask to have a brief discussion.
Clarifying questions, enquiry call, follow up emails – all these little steps do help you decide whether you would decide on starting therapy and book an initial session. Dr Tiffany Psychological Services offers a free 15-20 minutes enquiry telephone call - Book Here.
How do I or we start family therapy?
For family therapy to really work, yours and all your other family members’ commitment is the key. Before anything starts, our psychologist carries out an assessment with you all, together or separately, to gain an understanding of different perspectives across different participating individuals.
From there, we form a professional recommendation whether family therapy is the best therapy approach for you. We deliver concrete feedback to you about the next steps, such as therapy direction, goals setting and recommendations of other support to take place. We also provide you with insight into an estimated length of sessions, or whether alternative 1:1 support is more suitable (and why).
Why is someone not suitable for family therapy?
Not everyone would be able to take part in family therapy. This could be due to some valid reasons. This is why having a good professional to carry out a good assessment for you is crucial. You do not end up feeling you set up things for failure, or you always have doubt in therapy and leave the sessions feeling deflated.
Here we share about some common reasons we have identified in our previous experiences with some families:
Individual need outweighs group change at the present time: this means therapy could be more effective when one individual fulfills his/her own needs first, before mobilizing family therapy to articulate group based changes
Some members are not ready. This is definitely not a criticism. In fact doing therapy is hard! It requires commitment and the purpose about requiring therapy is that you want the right support and answer the question, ‘what should i do?’ Therefore it is important you have a good professional to identify the right support for you, including non-therapy options.
Some members are reluctant to take part. This does cause challenge. Afterall change needs to come from participating members themselves. You could get support from us to help you, the family as a whole, to look at and even challenge someone’s de-motivation. This at times is why we recommend 1:1 therapy such that some members could use a separate and safe space to discuss freely.
Ending Remarks
For those who are reading this and thinking about getting support for your family, we pass warm regards to you for your continued support seeking.
Do not hesitate to reach us via our free enquiry call, to find out more about family therapy.
Looking for the right support is not easy for anyone. We appreciate you do the best for you yourself and your family.
Keep trying! There is always a way towards hope and change.
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